Twas 8 Night's before Christmas!!!!

Does your head ever spin in December?  I had high hopes that this year I would rise above all the commercial hub bub.  I don't believe I am being suck in by the marketing ploys of Madison Avenue.  I just want this Christmas to be special for my 6 kiddos.  I have spent so much time involved in dossier paperwork and educating myself on international adoptions that I think my kids my be feeling a bit slighted.  They are.  But, you know what, that is ok.  I think that is where my problem lies, or societies problem.......

As Americans we are feed the line of garbage that if we are doing our jobs as parents, then our kids have to have everything they want and feel super special about themselves.  I have no problem with parents instilling self confidence into their children.  There is a point where the self confidence crosses the line though and becomes self centered.  Oh, and the town I live in thrives on self centeredness, although most would fiercely argue that they are just doing what is best for their kids.  That is besides the point.

The point is today I was looking through Reece's Rainbow (RR) website.  I came across a memorial page.  This was a page of orphan's  listed with RR who lost their life without knowing the love of a family.  As I scrolled across their sweet faces, I recognized one.  It was of a boy who I had noticed before we committed to adopt our boy.  My heart was broken.  That sweet boy never had a momma hug him, read him a bedtime story, kiss his little forehead.  And now he never will.  I know he is in a much better place, but the human side of it is almost unbearable to me.  Orphans have so many obstacles.  Sure a family of their own is obvious.  But, I have heard adopting mothers speak of the 2 a day diaper limit in the orphanages.  They will wash out disposable diaper and use them again.  UGH!  The food they get has very little nutrients at best.  Many have undetected illness or defects.  What is going on with my little boy while he waits patiently for us to come rescue him?  I have no idea.  

That is why I rush to get all this paperwork done.  That is why my kids have to wait a few minutes as I am on the computer "again."  That is why dinner may not be as well rounded as it should be or on the table at 5, or even 7.  That is why I don't have much energy at the end of the day.  Our needs are being meet.  Our wants...maybe not so much.  But, I believe this whole process is helping build character into my children that many of their peers will go their whole lives without knowing.

This Christmas will come and go.  I hope it will be special for my kids, but not because of the gifts under the tree (which we don't have a tree yet.)  But, because of who they are to us and more importantly their worth in God.  This will be our last Christmas as a family of 8.  Next year we will be celebrating with our new little man in the house.  And hopefully he won't feel the need to rip everything apart like Joel is doing this year.  We will have to wait and see.

Hoping you have more peace this Christmas!!!